"Almost any man can be a Father, but it takes someone special to be Dad"
This quote is very true for our family. My husband is Step Dad to our oldest Daughter.. This is not something we announce. It is not hidden, it is just we are such a well blended family, no one would even question it, besides the age differences between our kids.
Our almost 9 year old doesn't remember meeting her Dad. He has been apart of my life since she was 2.5 years, and she met him when she was 3. We were married when she was 6. Since then we have had 2 more daughters.
When I agreed to marry Paul, I did ask that he treat my daughter as his own, even if he had to fake it. We knew we wanted more kids, and I didn't want to have a family where the step kid was treated differently than the other kids in the house. He agreed, as this is way things are done in his family. His parents treat her the same as their other grandchildren, and have done so from the beginning.
I know of families who need to have 2 separate "Santa pictures" with the kids, separate family pictures. This is not how I wanted our family to be. How can it be blended when there is such differentiation?
My husband is an awesome Step Dad, in fact he is just Dad to all three of our girls.
He has taken the spot that her Father has left. He never speaks ill of him. Paul is the one who is cheering her on at her soccer and hockey games, he is the one who is called with exciting news of school, he is the one sitting in the audience at her dance recital, and he is the one who is getting the Father's Day Present that has been created at school.
Unfortunately our Oldest's biological father is not involved in her life. He lives in a different province, and the last time he spoke to her was Christmas Day. It has been almost a year since she has seen him. I used to worry about her lack of her Father in her life.
This is no longer a concern. She has a Dad. A great Dad!
Happy Father's Day Paul!
Great post Tanya. Sounds like Paul is a great dad. Coming from a daughter of a "step dad" kids so need to feel like they are a part of the family. I'm grateful I was blessed with a dad like Paul too :)
ReplyDeleteHe is an awesome dad. I watched his huge smile at the Princess Ball and it was true love :)
ReplyDeleteSo happy for you and your family Tanya
I can relate! My 7 year old is from a prior marriage. However, my husband stepped into a "Dad" role quite easily. Even though my son calls him by his first name...he always refers to him as "my dad" when talking to others. He doesn't replace his "Dad" - I think he is lucky to have double the father figure! It makes my heart happy. Now we have another son and our family feels completely complete!
ReplyDeleteIt takes a special man to step into this role for sure.
ReplyDeleteThe name vs calling dad thing always intriques me as my youngest son calls his dad by his first name. AT first i fought it but then realized that everyone else does and so to hime he started it too. It was a minor detail that wasnt worth fighting. However when we are in public and no one calls him dad I at timescatch people looking and wondering.
Oh my friend you brought a tear to my eye! What a lovely Father's Day Gift for Paul.... I think people who are able to step-parent well are just spectacular people.
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